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Seen on I-280 en route to the Richard Thompson concert: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

From now until September 19 I am conducting an online interview with Clay Eals, the author of Steve Goodman: Facing the Music, a thorough, warm, and engrossing biography of a great American musician.

Goodman was well-known and much beloved in the music world I was coming up in in the early ’70s, and I saw him perform many times. He wrote some very funny songs, including “Elvis Imitators” (which appears on my CD Solo Acoustic), “The Lincoln Park Pirates” (about a renegade towing company in Goodman’s native Chicago), “Door Number Three” (made famous by its co-author, Jimmy Buffett), and countless others. Goodman also wrote some of the sweetest, most sentimental songs you could imagine (“Would You Like to Learn to Dance?”, “Old Fashioned,” and “My Old Man”) – and of course he is most famous for composing “City of New Orleans,” most famously covered by Arlo Guthrie but recorded by many others as well. And of course, he is the composer of “A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request” and the ultimate country-music sendup, “You Never Even Call Me By My Name.”

Goodman died of leukemia in September 1984, having survived for 15 years after he was first diagnosed. He was a tiny dynamo onstage, often levitating with the excitement of what he was playing on the guitar. His songwriting and performing styles were a great inspiration to me, and I have several of his songs in my repertoire to this day. (I’m planning to sing “Chicken Cordon Blues” on West Coast Live next Saturday Morning, September 15.)

Come check out the interview with author Clay Eals. Steve Goodman’s story is a colorful and inspiring one, and Clay has done a brilliant job of telling it.

Found a reference to this John Cowan rant on rec.music.gdead.

August 4, 2007
“JAM BAND” ManiFESTo A.K.A “Set List!
(Don’t let Jerry down!)

1. Tribute to Phish- Perform one song with a stupid title. Play for @ least 22 minutes. Noodle a lot, playing white, limp-dick solos over fake afro-grooves. (Don’t forget – At least one 7.5 Hydrocodone per band member every 20 minutes.)

2. “I Know You Rider” play it in E. Don’t worry if you know all the words or not, the patchouli stinking, spineless chicken dancer/ twirlers will sing it with you.

3. Play (mangle) a bluegrass tune. Doesn’t matter if you don’t know who Carter Stanley, Chubby Wise, or Josh Graves were…… shit, you’ve heard Yonder Mountain String Band! Hell, make it easy on yourselves, don’t try to do Foggy Mountain Breakdown, it has a minor chord change in it. Just play “Rider” 10 or 20 minutes longer.

4. Don’t talk about the “War in Iraq” in your show. What the fuck do you care anyhow? There isn’t even a draft! You’ve got a sweet bus, imported beer & wine on your rider, Xbox 360, good bud, chicks with tattoos, and assuming your heterosexual, no real need to wear condoms. That shit’s for fags.

5. Tribute to Jerry, good luck! Too bad you didn’t know him, unlike you, A. He could play, and B. had an understanding, through love and experience, of the roots of the music he was interpreting and composing within. (Uh, let’s just say he didn’t grow up by playing along with Nirvana and “Panic” CD’s.) Oh fuck it…play Friend of the Devil! Finish your tribute to Jerry with a tribute to Dark Star Orchestra.

ADDENDUMB- GEAR & TIPS FOR JAM BANDS!!!!!!!!

1. Guitarist’- UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE should you ever just plug your instrument straight into your amplifier. It’s important to have a pedal-board, or a rack big enough to justify carrying a guitar-tech. By all means use as many effects as possible, preferably lots of wah –wah effects-ie Mutron, T-Wah, Envelope Filters etc… pretty much anything to hide the fact that you’ve never practiced a scale in your life.

2. Bassist’- NEVER, EVER, play a 4 string bass, especially a stupid “old man” Fender Bass. For God’s sake, use a 5, 6, or 7 string. Make sure you have at least 3 pickups (2 with phase in/out are acceptable). Use basses made from expensive, more than likely, endangered woods exclusively. Flatwound or regular gauge strings ARE NOT acceptable. (please, don’t attempt to use your fingers to pluck the strings-it’s too hard, and you can play faster with a pick!). Whatever you do, DO NOT listen to any of those 4 string Fender-thumping pussies like Larry Graham, Berry Oakley, Bernard Odum, Duck Dunn, James Jamerson, Monk Montgomery, Carol Kaye, Francis Rocco Prestia, Bob Babbit, Chuck Rainey or Jaco Pastorius… they’ll make you want to practice and that takes away from serious Bong Time!

3. Drummers- Well fortunately for you, you live in a musical environ where more is more so, get with it dude! Double kick? Hell yes! Dudicle, at least 4 rack toms & 3 floor toms. Cymbals? I think we all know the sky’s the limit! (every other bar, fill, or chorus in/out must have “that splash” baby!)

4. Keyboards- Who are we kidding here? You play pads and make synth noises. Make sure you get that G.E.D. between tours so you can move to Chicago and work in a “jingle house” doing fabulous beer commercials before the VH1 “Where Are They Now” special comes.

6. Percussionist’- Well, we know for sure that if you’d ever played or heard one fuckin’ bar of Latin music you wouldn’t be in this band. Face it, you’re the little dude that brought these guys bud and blow, loaded their van, and sold merch before “the record deal”. Just close your eyes and umm….. groove, if that’s what you call it. YOU ARE NOT TURNED ON IN THE HOUSE ANYWAY! Enjoy it while you can. As soon as they sell enough “product” they’ll start using a click to duplicate the sound of the records and you’ll be history.

7. Vocalist’- …Ahem….errr…. Just stick to that one octave you do so well!

SONGWRITING- PITFALLS
Composers to avoid: really!!!
B. Monroe, J. Martin, C & I Louvin, F & B Bryant, C & R Stanley, Brines & Bush, H. Williams, M Haggard, J. Cash, B. Owens, G Jones, A. Toussaint, S. Cropper, O. Redding, W. Pickett, L. George, A.P. Carter, G. Parsons, E. L. Harris, J.R. Robertson, G. Allman, D. Betts, D. Penn, C. Moman, S. Oldham, J. Ragavoy, Gamble & Huff, T. Bell, Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, J. Baez, I. Tyson, T. O’Brien, P. Rowan, B. McDill, D. & W. Scott, L. Armstrong, O. Coleman, M. Tyner, T. Monk, M. Davis, B. Evans, J. Coltrane, C. Parker, Ellington & Strayhorn, C. Porter, G. & I. Gershwin, S. Kahn, Rogers/ Hart/Hammerstein, Lieber & Stoller, D. Boggs, Goffin/King, Bacharach/David, M.Morganfield, J. Cotton,W. Dixon, C. Burnett, J.B. Lenoir, The Reeds (Jimmy & Jerry), B. Dylan, Paul Simon, L. Nyro, W. Waldman, J. Mitchell, G. Lightfoot, Lennon & McCartney, B. Cockburn, L. Cohen, T. Van Zandt, G. Clark, J. Prine, S. Goodman, S. Earle, L. Lovett, S. Colvin, M. Travis, R. Staples, R. Newman, H. Nillson, J. Taylor, J. Browne…… ad infinitum. ( uh, that means on & on)

Here’s the deal dudes & dudettes, if you listen to ANY of the writers above, the next thing you’ll want to do is compose something thought provoking, emotional, fun, tragic, or heaven help us…..sophisticated. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! Your audience wants to dance while you guys are JAMMING! Words, melodies, & pathos could never hope to penetrate their 30 second ADHD, THC, Super Mario Bros, dreadlocked craniums. So, by all means, keep dancin’ with the ones that brought ya!

And finally, please don’t ever, ever forget this my brothers & sisters! When you’re really loaded and grooving, IT REALLY DOES sounds as good to everyone else as it does to you!
Good Luck & Keep Jammin’

piece & love
johnny c

PS
Don’t say Zambie! If Bruce even knows who you are he probably thinks you suck.

My friend and colleague Tim “Da Flower Punk” Lynch responded on the newsgroup:

Dear Mr. Cowan,

I have loved your voice and playing since the days of New Grass Revival.

But seriously, the guy who recorded and released “All Soul’d Out” really has no business criticizing anyone else’s musical choices.

It’s channel 32 on Sirius Satellite Radio!

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