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dumpdelay.com is written by Susan DuQuesnay. Most of the pieces were published in The Fort Bend Star, a weekly newspaper in Tom DeLay’s hometown. According to the front page, “Susan DuQuesnay also maintains a website about Fort Bend politics (Tom’s home district) – and some semi-daily comments about Tom DeLay at www.brazosriver.com.”
Here’s a sample entry, from June 1 of last year:

Tom in TeeVee Guide
Tom has been fumin’ like a 200,000 mile pickup truck that the writers of the teevee show Law and Order took his name in vain. There’s laws against that. I’m not sure where those laws are written down but you might start checking stone tablets and mountaintops somewhere.

Law and Order had this teevee show where this detective guy was looking for a crook who shot a federal judge. With no clues or suspects, the detective said, “Maybe we should put out an APB for somebody in a Tom DeLay T-Shirt.” Uh huh, it was humorous. Somebody got paid a lot of money for coming up with that line and – rats! – it should have been me.

In reaction, Tom girded-up his loins and, with a straight face, stomped his foot about the “manipulation of my name.” Oh gosh, that’s gotta be awful for Hot Tub Tom, the Hammer. Can you even imagine someone manipulating his name? I’m mortified, mortified I tell you.

He also called it “a great disservice to public discourse.” No, seriously; he said that. A man who once stood on the House floor and made fun of people “with foreign sounding names” said that.

Rumor has it that instead of suing the writers, Tom has proposed that he write and produce the next show – Law & Order: Filibuster Victim’s Unit.

After checking my TeeVee Guide, I have discovered some more shows featuring Tom this week. Oh, give it up – you knew I would.

Desperate Housewives – Tom DeLay drops by to lecture the floozie housewives on their wicked ways and then gets drunk and nakkid in their hot tub.

Bonanza – In a repeat of a little known episode, Tom DeLay plays a snake oil salesman who fights the Indians by stealing all their food, clothes, and money. Hoss gets pissed-off and calls Sheriff Ronnie Earle.

MASH – War. Go boom! Danger! Ooowies! Tom DeLay nowhere to be found.

Everybody Loves Raymond – except Tom. Tom DeLay hates Raymond because Raymond does not go to church enough.

Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf – Jack Abramoff buys Tom DeLay a trip to the Master’s. DeLay still can’t hit a nine iron straight and keeps referring to Tiger Woods as “The Gentleman from the NAACP.”

FOX News – Tom DeLay good. Liberals bad. Rinse. Repeat.

West Wing – Special guest appearance by Congressman Tom DeLay. He says that he IS the Federal Government and C J Craig punches him out. Cold cocks him. Kicks him. Stomps his butt. Grinds her high heel into his foot. Whacks him upside the head for good measure. She wins an Emmy.

Gilligan Island – in this overlooked episode, Tom DeLay comes to the island and tries to set up sweat shops and a rudimentary sex tourism industry.

The Apprentice – Tom DeLay and Donald Trump get into a self-image contest. Neither wins, but the fallout of ego juice and bad hair-dos covers three states.

Will and Grace – Grace lands a job decorating a major hotel chain. Will must try a case against a really hunky opposing counsel. Jack attempts to date the offensive line of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Tom experiences a terrifying lower abdominal tingle.

Judging Amy – and everybody else, the DeLay way! Tom DeLay visits to demonstrate how to slap down a judge. Episode two will be seen on Law and Order.

Hope and Faith – DeLay’s medical care package for America.

The King of Queens – Tom refuses to appear on this type of “activist show”.

Antiques Roadshow – Carlton Pierce III informs Tom that his antiquated political beliefs are worth “not a damn diddle.” His hair, however, is discovered to be a highly sought-after collector’s item.

This week on Star Trek: “I AM THE FEDERATION OF PLANETS!”

Extreme Makeover – Ty’s team gives Tom an extreme makeover by giving him a soul and a heart.

Medium – Tom enlists the help of Patricia Arquette to combat the unholy ghost of LBJ and Barry Bonds.

The Amazing Race – Can Tom outlaw boobies before the Johnson family reach Paris?

The Tony Danza Show – Tom’s appearance is so shocking that I am forbidden to discuss the specifics. I’ll offer three words: Fire, Brimstone, Bacardi

O’Reilly Factor – Loofah, falafel, and hot tubs – tales of latent homosexuality masquerading as insipid male conquests.

Fear Factor – In a moment of primal justice Tom DeLay forced to eat a live bug and a gallon of DDT to keep his House seat.

I just have one thought for the week. Why does Tom make this so easy for me?

Al Franken’s Midwest Values Pac web site has the transcript of a speech Al gave, sharing the dais with Ann Coulter. An excerpt:

Let me give you an example of Ann lying by omission.

Also in her book Slander, Ann tells her readers that Al Gore had a leg up on George W. Bush when applying to their respective colleges. Harvard and Yale. Ann writes:

“Oddly, it was Bush who was routinely accused of having sailed through life on his father’s name. But the truth was the reverse. The media was manipulating the fact that – many years later – Bush’s father became president. When Bush was admitted to Yale, his father was a little-known congressman on the verge of losing his first Senate race. His father was a Yale alumnus, but so were a lot of other boys’ parents. It was Gore, not Bush, who had a famous father likely to impress college admissions committees.”

What does Ann omit? Well, that Bush’s grandfather Prescott Bush was also a Yale alum and had been Senator from Connecticut, the home state of Yale University. That Prescott Bush had been a trustee of Yale. That Prescott Bush had been the first chair of Yale’s Development Board – the folks who raise the money. That Prescott Bush sat on the Yale Corporation for twelve years. That Prescott Bush, like George W. Bush’s father, George H. W, Bush, had been a member of Skull and Bones. That the first Bush to go to Yale was Bush’s great great grandfather James Bush, who graduated in 1844. That in addition to his father, grandfather, and greatgreatgrandfather, Bush was the legacy of no less than twenty-seven other relatives who preceded him at Yale, including five great great uncles. Seven great uncles. Five uncles, and a number of first cousins.

Now why did Ann leave out these somewhat relevant facts? Ann grew up in Connecticut. Ann, did you really not know that Prescott Bush had been your senator when you were born?

Ann, is it possible that when Prescott’s son George H. W. Bush became president, it totally escaped your notice that his father had represented your state in the United States Senate? Did neither of your parents mention it in passing at the dinner table? Did no one at home in Darien make any comments about the new president’s lineage?

Understand. This isn’t sloppiness. This is deliberate. For Ann’s purposes – to claim that the media that was manipulating facts here – Ann herself had to manipulate facts – in such a shameless way. This is what she does.

Read the full transcript here, and post a comment if you’re so inclined.

Mark Morford has a great rant in today’s San Francisco Chronicle. His point of departure is a new TV ad for home security systems, but Morford (correctly, in my opinion) recognizes it as another entry in the relentless campaign to Keep America Scared. Fear is good business, as the Republicans in particular and the entire world business culture know so very well. I’m fucking sick of it, and so is Mark Morford:

Jogger watches clean-cut yuppie husband disappear down street, stands up and drops his chin and his eyes turn evil and his face turns shadowy and he immediately pulls a black hoodie up over his head and turns toward yuppie couple’s walkway and begins to RUN FULL SPEED straight at yuppie couple’s front door and KICKS IT IN FULL FORCE OH MY GOD NO!

Ah! But yuppie wife remembered to arm fancy new security system! Alarm sounds! Beep beep beep! Intruder-rapist-jogger stops dead in his tracks! He is bewildered by all this crazy beeping and immediately turns around and runs off before he can get anywhere near blond trophy wife to (presumably) attack her with chain saws and eat her eyeballs and steal her pretty Franck Muller watch and laugh maniacally!

…

That yuppie utopian all-white dream house? That’s America, silly. Your overpriced security system? The Patriot Act. The “war on terror.” Wiretapping. Rumsfeld’s black and lethal heart. The trillion-dollar destruction of Iraq, a country that had little to do with angry rapist-joggers but who the hell cares because they’re all dark skinned and hateful and Muslim anyway, right? Of course they are.

…

I am sick, made nauseated, made furious by the relentless plays on phony childish fears. I have had enough of insidious horror movies and schlocky cop dramas and inane TV commercials right along with their ideological brethren in the NRA and the Department of Homeland Security and the sneering GOP, all of whom make hollow attempts to invent more dangers in the world for their own violence-laced agendas.
I am done, furthermore, with a villainous Republican-poisoned government whose sole agenda for the past five years has been to force the bitter cement of counterfeit fear into every joint and cranny of fluid and luminous life, all while brutally ignoring all the genuine problems and woes of the planet (global warming, poverty, abstinence programs, Ashlee Simpson, etc.). They are cretins and ideologues and they deserve a deep sense of shame.

Read the whole column.